Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
