I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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