So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
