My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize