bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize