I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize