dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
