This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
