xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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