Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
