Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
