mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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