He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
