Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
two words: eviction party
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
