i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
