just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
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It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
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I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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