All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Just cropdusted the office
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I lost the right to judge tonight
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
