More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
