Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
