Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
