when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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