I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize