i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
