chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
