Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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