so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
