Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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