Its about making memories worth repressing
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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