i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
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i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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