so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
and you fell through a lawn chair
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