After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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