is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
