I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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