you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize