i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Randomize
