Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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