Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
