Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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