I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
