Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
this is an emotional support booty call
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
