You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
