This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
