I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
