proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
