I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
