Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You were trust falling into bushes
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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