dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
