She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
