one might say we're banned from that church
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
