are you still at the devil's house?
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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