I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
