That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
