I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
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Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
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It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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