I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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