when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
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tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
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my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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