There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
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