There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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