Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm too high and old for this...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
