And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
