why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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