She is in my trunk
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
