guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
