Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
