make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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