Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
